20 Things Nobody Told You While Growing Up

BY AMANDA BRADBURY

1. You’re Going to Spend A Lot of Time Figuring Stuff Out

Unless you’re one of the lucky few who already knows what their passion is and what you really enjoy, you will be spending a lot of time trying new things and figuring out what you’re good at and what you like. Don’t be afraid to try new things and fail at them; failing builds character. You have a lot of growing up to do in your 20s, a lot of self-examination and exploration. Use this time wisely to get to know yourself as best as you can–not that you won’t change as you continue to get older, but it’s definitely a time of discovery, getting to know oneself and what you want in this world and what you have to contribute to the world.

2. Don’t Expect Smooth Seas

There will be many challenges, obstacles and curve balls swung your way. Just try to take life as it comes. Don’t fight against the current because you’ll just wear yourself out. If there’s a door that is standing wide open for you and another that you’re trying to get through by knocking it down, sometimes it’s best to take the door that’s already open for you. In other words don’t try to be someone/something you’re not.

3. Learn About Personal Finance Now

Learn how to budget and manage your money, how to open a checking/savings account, and how to use credit wisely and live within your means. Your future self will thank you for it. Buy quality items you can keep around for a long time to come, not cheap crap that breaks that you’ll have to buy again in a year. Invest in yourself, your education, your personal improvement, your health and your relationships to others.

4. Assume Change Will Come

Life is about change; don’t fight it and just go with it. Learn from your mistakes and grow. Let go of things you can’t change. Sometimes change will be so painful you will want to rip your heart out, but you’ll be okay if you just hang on and know that no matter what happens, you will be alright. Win, lose or draw, life will go on and you’ll get another chance to start your life over if things haven’t gone according to plan.

5. Keep Your Plans Loose

Speaking of plans, keep them loose and flexible. It’s good to have an idea of things you want to accomplish and where you want to be a couple years down the road, but honestly no one knows what’s going to happen tomorrow, let alone 5 years from now. It’s fine to make some plans but be flexible and willing to change them. Remember that people change and things happen that will push you in one direction or another. Don’t waste time beating yourself up because your plans didn’t go the way you wanted. Don’t worry about things you can’t change; focus on making new plans/goals and where you will go from here.

6. Time Is a Limited Resource

Nothing lasts forever. Enjoy every moment that you have. Enjoy life and practice being present in the moment because it goes by extremely fast. There will be both good and bad times. The bad thing about up is there’s always a down. It’s important to really enjoy and savor the good moments in life because you’ll need those memories to reflect back on when the bad times come. The first 10 years after high school go by at a breakneck speed and before you know it you’re 28 and wondering how the time has escaped you.

7. Life is Hard

When you’re a teenager, you’re just at the beginning of your life’s lessons. Life is the toughest teacher you will ever have. “Life is a cruel teacher. She gives the test first, then the lesson.” Life will throw everything that it can at you; it will try to break you and choke you until you can’t breathe, but you can’t let it.

8. You’re Only Young Once

Enjoy being young while you are still young! Enjoy being young as much as possible. Enjoy the metabolism and the fun times. Cross stuff off your bucket list while you’re young because no one knows how much time you truly have. Don’t wait until you’re old and can’t or may not be able to do the things you really want to experience. Seriously, you may be broke while you’re young, but that doesn’t matter. You’ve got time to make money and settle down. Travel, explore and do what your heart desires now. You can still get married, have children and a household and career starting in your 20s if you want, but you should try to balance your life with equal amounts of responsibility and fun. The last thing you want to do is look back on missed chances.

9. Make Your Health a Priority, Not an Option

Once you get into your late 20s and early 30s your body is going to start losing metabolism and energy. You’re going to start hurting and going to bed earlier. Start eating better and exercising. Don’t think of it as a choice. Start developing a healthier lifestyle and soon it will become habit. Take care of yourself physically, mentally and spiritually.

10. Attitude Determines Your Altitude

Attitude is everything and that’s not something they teach you in school. Having a good attitude can make all the difference in your life. It makes life easier and happier when you have a positive outlook and are able to keep your attitude light and flexible when dealing with other people and with life’s challenges.

11. How You Treat People Matters

Treating people with respect and decency can get you a long way in the world. Remember that “honey attracts more flies than vinegar.” Being nice to people really does actually matter to people. You won’t get anywhere tearing other people down or blaming others for anything. Take responsibility for yourself, your actions and your feelings.

12. Relationships Don’t Come Easy

Choosing a life partner/spouse is hard. Relationships in general are hard, not just romantic ones but friendships and family relations as well. Stay in touch with people who you really care about and who really care about you. Make an effort to stay an active person in their life if you really care. You will not have as many close friends as you get older and you will probably lose some friends as well. Remember that it is okay, not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay forever; let them go and cherish the people who are still in your life.

13. Be Prepared To Deal With Changes in Relationships

Look at your time with exes and be thankful; even though it didn’t work out, at least you got to experience it and learn from it. You rolled the dice and lost, but at least you took a chance! Don’t think that just because something wasn’t meant to be for your entire life doesn’t mean it didn’t add value and was right where you needed to be at the time.

In your 20s, especially if you have a family, it gets harder and harder to spend time with friends because of so many different time demands. You will be pulled in every direction and it’s up to you to decide what your priorities are. Having a couple of close friends you can rely on can make a difference in your life. As they say “shared joy is doubled, shared sorrow is halved.”

14. Take Every Chance You Get

Life is about taking chances, grabbing opportunities and taking risks. Don’t be afraid to try something new, move somewhere new, work somewhere new, meet new people and learn something new.

15. Let Go of Expectations

Expectations ruin everything and most of the time our expectations are too high for those around us and for ourselves. No one is perfect and nothing is ever going to be perfect. The faster you can learn this and let go of too high or false expectations, the easier life will come to you. Expectations bring heartache and only cause harm. Expect nothing and appreciate everything.

16. Life Is Complex. Try Not to Worry

Don’t worry because everyone has ups and downs. It’s just how life is. Life is extremely messy and complicated, but don’t despair because things will work out in the end. Keep living and keep on doing what you enjoy. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

17. You Get What You Put In

Happiness, love and confidence come from within. Life is what you make of it and what you put into it. You can create whatever life you want, and if you create that life and it doesn’t work for you anymore, guess what? You can create a whole new life that does work. You may not have a choice in things that happen to you but you have a choice in how you react to them. Try to stay positive no matter what life throws at you and get through the tough times by talking to friends, family and a counselor if you need to.

18. You Will Face Rejection

You will be rejected at some point in your life. Rejection hurts at the very core of your being, but try not to take it too personally. Oftentimes, when you’re rejected it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the person rejecting you. Take it in stride, let it slide off your back and move on. I know this is easier said than done, but it will go a long way in making you feel better and happier.

19. You Will Not Have Everything Figured Out Anytime Soon

If you don’t have everything figured out by the time you’re 30, you’re not alone. If you’re not where you want to be in your life or career, don’t sweat it, you still have time. Some people never figure out what they really want to do with their lives, but they get a lot of great experience, learn new things and can transfer their skills to many types of jobs. If you know what you want to do in life, start doing it immediately, practice it as much as possible and you will get better at it.

20. Love More and Keep Your Heart Open

Love is all that really matters in the end. Give of yourself more than anything. Try to be patient, empathetic, understanding, caring and gentle with other people. Get to know people better by asking questions and listening attentively. People usually like to talk about themselves and questions are a great way to get conversations going. Love people for who they are, just as they are, and realize that everyone is a work in progress! Life is a continual work in progress. We’re all just trying to find our way, and we’re all confused and looking for contentment. Life is a journey, and happiness is not a destination to arrive at, but a way of living.

Operation Smile - Day of Smiles

On October 5th, 2013, our office combined efforts with 3 of our local branches to raise money for Operation Smile. We did what we call "Office Olympics" where four teams were able to participate in different events that included : Basketball, Beach Volleyball, Egg Toss, Egg Spoon Relay and many other fun games. The winning office won $100 to be used towards their next team event. As the winning team we spent $56 sponsoring a laser tag night and donated the rest right back to Operation Smile.

Here's a link to our album:
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.460682187381080.1073741834.409646139151352&type=3

Operation Smile is a charity that works with children and adults in third world countries who are born with cleft lips/ cleft palates. This is the second year that we have raised funds and our office has pledged to raise over $1,000.

Here's some quick facts about Operation Smile:

1. $248 dollars and 45 minutes is all it takes to change a life
2. Every 3 minutes a child is born with a cleft lip or cleft palate
3. 1 in 10 children born with a cleft lip will die before their first birthday
4. Of those that survive, most are often unable to eat, speak, socialize or smile
5. Celebrities like Pro Skater Tony Hawk and NFL Quaterback Peyton Manning were born with cleft lips

You can visit their page at: www.operationsmile.org

If interested in making a donation follow this link:

http://support.operationsmile.org/site/TR/Development/DonationPages/588042344?pg=team&fr_id=1510&team_id=27460&JServSessionIdr004=dy05khdoid.app305b

6 Rags-to-Riches Millionaires

http://portal.kiplinger.com/slideshow/business/T049-S001-6-rags-to-riches-millionaires/index.html

The Most Successful People Practice Better, Not More

How long does it take to become elite at your craft? And what do the people who master their goals do differently than the rest of us?

That’s what John Hayes, a cognitive psychology professor at Carnegie Mellon University, wanted to know.

For decades, Hayes has been investigating the role of effort, practice, and knowledge in top performers. He has studied the most talented creators in history — people like Mozart and Picasso — to determine how long it took them to become world class at their craft. Furthermore, he has investigated the choices and experiences that have led to their success.

Let’s talk about what Hayes has discovered about world class performers. And more importantly, let’s discuss how you can use these insights to achieve your goals and become your best.

“10 Years of Silence”

Hayes started his research by examining successful composers. He analyzed thousands of musical pieces produced between the years of 1685 to 1900. The central question that drove his work was, “How long after one becomes interested in music is it that one becomes world class?”

Eventually, Hayes developed a list of 500 pieces that were played frequently by symphonies around the world and were considered to be the “masterworks” in the field. These 500 popular pieces were created by a total of 76 composers.

Next, Hayes mapped out the timeline of each composer’s career and calculated how long they had been working before they created their popular works. What he discovered was that virtually every single “masterwork” was written after year ten of the composer’s career. (Out of 500 pieces there were only three exceptions, which were written in years eight and nine.)

Not a single person produced incredible work without putting in a decade of practice first. Even a genius like Mozart had to work for at least ten years before he produced something that became popular. Professor Hayes began to refer to this period, which was filled with hard work and little recognition, as the “ten years of silence.”

In followup studies, Hayes found similar patterns among famous painters and popular poets. These findings have been further confirmed by research from professors like K. Anders Ericsson, who produced research that revealed that you needed to put in “10,000 hours” to become an expert in your field. (This idea was later popularized by Malcolm Gladwell.)

However, as Hayes, Ericsson, and other researchers started digging deeper, they discovered that time was merely one part of the equation. Success wasn’t simply a product of 10 years of practice or 10,000 hours of work. To understand exactly what was required to maximize your potential and master your craft, you had to look at how the best people practice.

From Robert, trainer for Team USA:

I was invited to Las Vegas to help Team USA with their conditioning before they headed off to London. I’ve had the opportunity to work with Carmelo Anthony and Dwyane Wade in the past, but this would be my first interaction with Kobe.

The night before the first scrimmage, I had just watched “Casablanca” for the first time and it was about 3:30 AM.

A few minutes later, I was in bed, slowly fading away, when I heard my cell ring. It was Kobe. I nervously picked up.

“Hey, uhh, Rob, I hope I’m not disturbing anything right?”

“Uhh, no. What’s up Kob?”

“Just wondering if you could help me out with some conditioning work, that’s all.”

I checked my clock. 4:15 AM.

“Yeah sure, I’ll see you in the facility in a bit.”

It took me about twenty minutes to get my gear and get out of the hotel. When I arrived and opened the room to the main practice floor, I saw Kobe. Alone. He was drenched in sweat as if he had just taken a swim. It wasn’t even 5:00 AM.

We did some conditioning work for the next hour and fifteen minutes. Then, we entered the weight room, where he would do a multitude of strength training exercises for the next 45 minutes. After that, we parted ways. He went back to the practice floor to shoot. I went back to the hotel and crashed. Wow.

I was expected to be at the floor again at about 11:00 AM.

I woke up feeling sleepy, drowsy, and pretty much every side effect of sleep deprivation. (Thanks, Kobe.) I had a bagel and headed to the practice facility.

This next part I remember very vividly. All of the Team USA players were there. LeBron was talking to Carmelo and Coach Krzyzewski was trying to explain something to Kevin Durant. On the right side of the practice facility Kobe was by himself shooting jumpers.

I went over to him, patted him on the back and said, “Good work this morning.”

“Huh?”

“Like, the conditioning. Good work.”

“Oh. Yeah, thanks Rob. I really appreciate it.”

“So when did you finish?”

“Finish what?”

“Getting your shots up. What time did you leave the facility?”

“Oh, just now. I wanted 800 makes. So yeah, just now.”

For those of you keeping track at home, Kobe Bryant started his conditioning work around 4:30am, continued to run and sprint until 6am, lifted weights from 6am to 7am, and finally proceeded to make 800 jump shots between 7am and 11am.

Oh yeah, and then Team USA had practice.

It’s obvious that Kobe is getting his 10,000 hours in, but there is another part of his story that is even more important.

The Importance Deliberate Practice

Kobe isn’t merely showing up and practicing a lot. He is practicing with purpose.

Kobe had a very clear goal at practice: 800 made jump shots. He was deliberately focused on developing the skill of making baskets. The time he spent doing it was almost an after thought. That sounds simple, but it’s very different from how most of us approach our work each day.

When most people talk about working hard, they use the amount of time they worked as an indicator of how hard they worked. (i.e. “I worked 60 hours this week!”)

Putting in a lot of time might make you tired, but simply working a lot (even if it’s 10,000 hours over the course of your career) isn’t enough to make you a top performer. It’s not the same thing as practicing deliberately. Most people who think they are working hard are merely developing the skill of being in the gym, not the skill of making baskets.

To keep this basketball analogy going, consider this quote about deliberate practice…

Consider the activity of two basketball players practicing free throws for one hour. Player A shoots 200 practice shots, Player B shoots 50. The Player B retrieves his own shots, dribbles leisurely and takes several breaks to talk to friends. Player A has a colleague who retrieves the ball after each attempt. The colleague keeps a record of shots made. If the shot is missed the colleague records whether the miss was short, long, left or right and the shooter reviews the results after every 10 minutes of practice. To characterize their hour of practice as equal would hardly be accurate. Assuming this is typical of their practice routine and they are equally skilled at the start, which would you predict would be the better shooter after only 100 hours of practice?
—Aubrey Daniels

Each player in the example above could brag about practicing for one hour, but only one of them is practicing deliberately.

Researchers have noted that top performers in every industry are committed to deliberate practice. The best artists, musicians, athletes, CEOs, and entrepreneurs don’t merely work a lot, they work a lot on developing specific skills. For example, Jerry Seinfeld’s “don’t break the chain” strategy is all about deliberately practicing the skill of writing jokes.

Applying This to Your Life

Mozart has been called the “genius of geniuses” and even he toiled away for 10 years before producing popular work. I don’t know about you, but I find this inspiring.

I don’t have the natural talent of Kobe Bryant or the sheer brilliance of Mozart, but I’m willing to put in my “10 years of silence.” I’ve only been writing on this site for 9 months, but I see this as the beginning of a 30–year project for me. And because I’m in this for good, I can win with commitment, grit, and unwavering consistency.

You can take the same approach to your work, to your goals, and to your legacy. By combining these two ideas — the consistency of “10 years of silence” and the focus of “deliberate practice” — you can blow past most people.

On a daily basis, this doesn’t have to look big or impressive. And that’s good, because it will often feel like you’re failing. What feels like struggle and frustration is often skill development and growth. What looks like little pay and no recognition is often the price you have to pay to discover your best work. In other words, what looks like failure is often the foundation of success.

Thankfully, just one hour of focus and deliberate practice each day can deliver incredible results over the long–run. And that brings us to the most important questions of all:

Are you working toward your 10 years of silence today? Are you deliberately focused on developing your skills? Or are you simply “putting in your time” and hoping for the best?

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/how-successful-people-practice-2013-8#ixzz2eRXDndbt

15 Tycoons Who Won't Leave Their Fortunes to Their Kids

15 Tycoons Who Won't Leave Their Fortunes to Their Kids

Not all of the world's billionaires are dedicated to being extraordinarily altruistic — many decide to spend their money indulging in fancy cars, planes, and yachts.

But others want to spread as much of their wealth as possible before they die. A select few even want that last check to only cover the cost of their funeral.

Of course, not everyone stands to gain from such selflessness — namely, the children of these generous donors.

Though they will still have untold opportunities, advantages, and connections, to help them succeed, the children of these 15 tycoons won't be living large off their inheritances.

—Eric Goldschein also contributed to this story.


1. Business magnate Warren Buffett

REUTERS/Rick Wilking

As an incredibly wealthy investor and philanthropist, Buffett has pledged to give away99% of his wealth, either during his life or when he dies. He started by promising 83% of it to the Gates Foundation, according to FORTUNE Magazine.

The Oracle of Omaha isn't worried about his children not getting their fair share. Echoing a common sentiment on this list, Buffett said in his letter to the Gates Foundation: "I want to give my kids just enough so that they would feel that they could do anything, but not so much that they would feel like doing nothing."

2. EBay founder Pierre Omidyar

Brian Harkin/Getty Images

Ever since Omidyar became a billionaire when he was 31 years old, the eBay founder has made it his life's work to donate the majority of his money to those less fortunate instead of to his three children, according to Forbes.

He signed the Gates and Buffett Giving Pledge in 2010, and continuously gives eBay shares to the Omidyar Network, his philanthropic investment firm.

He and his wife Pam are also the single biggest private donors to the fight against the human trafficking industry.

3. New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg

Andrew Burton/Getty Images

Bloomberg gets paid $1 a year for his government duties because with a net worth of $19.5 billion, he's pretty much set financially.  

But Bloomberg is also an avid philanthropist, having donated millions to Johns Hopkins University, the Carnegie Corporation, and thousands of other non-profits.

In his letter to The Giving Pledge, Bloomberg wrote that "nearly all of my net worth will be given away in the years ahead or left to my foundation."

Bloomberg's two daughters, however, may be left to foot the bill upon his death.Bloomberg once said, "the best financial planning ends with bouncing the check to the undertaker."

4. Rockstar Gene Simmons

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

The bassist for KISS, one of the best-selling American bands of all time, is a self-made man. He was born in Israel, moved to Queens with his mother, and started a group that would end up compiling 28 gold records over the years. 

Simmons wants the same path for his two kids, Nick and Sophie. He told CNBC several years ago: "...in terms of an inheritance and stuff, they're gonna be taken care of, but they will never be rich off my money. Because every year they should be forced to get up out of bed, and go out and work and make their own way."

So the $300 million bucks that belong to Simmons will be headed somewhere else upon his death. 

5. Australian iron magnate Gina Rinehart

Paul Kane/Getty Images

Rinehart — the richest woman in Australia — wants to cut her children out of their inheritance.

She herself inherited her company and fortune from her father, Lang Hancock, and her children were also named in his estate.

But court documents in the Australian media show that Rinehart doesn't believe her four kids are fit to manage the family fortune.

“None of the plaintiffs has the requisite capacity or skill, nor the knowledge, experience, judgment or responsible work ethic to administer a trust in the nature of the trust in particular as part of the growing HPPL Group,” she once claimed in court papers.

6. Microsoft founder and CEO Bill Gates

Stefan Postles/Getty Images

Bill Gates is one of the richest people in the world. But he and his wife Melinda aren't interested in keeping their money for themselves, or for their three children.

"I knew I didn't think it was a good idea to give the money to my kids. That wouldn't be good either for my kids or society," he told The Sun in 2010.

Instead, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation was founded in 1994, and today has assets of over $37 billion. The Foundation even started "The Giving Pledge," which invites other wealthy individuals to join the Gates' lead and donate half their money to charity. 

7. Actor Jackie Chan

REUTERS/Jonathan Alcorn

The movie star announced in 2011 that he had decided to give away half his money to charity when he dies. Chan added that he was not planning on leaving his son Jaycee any of the millions of dollars he has made during his film career.

"If he is capable, he can make his own money. If he is not, then he will just be wasting my money," Channel NewsAsia quoted Chan as saying.

8. Home Depot co-founder Bernard Marcus

Bernard Marcus, left (AP Photo/Alan Mothner)

Marcus grew up in Newark, New Jersey to Russian immigrant parents, and went on to start Home Depot. His retail success helped him accumulate $1.5 billion in net worth. His philanthropic efforts include funding the Georgia Aquarium and starting the Marcus Foundation. 

Not wanting his kids to inherit large sums of money — for their own good, he told Forbes — Marcus plans on giving the majority of his Home Depot stock to his foundation, which benefits the handicapped and education.

9. Businessman Chuck Feeney

The Atlantic Wire

Chuck Feeney is the the co-founder of Duty-Free Shoppers Group (those airport shops), and was one of the world's billionaires in the late 1980s until he transferred all his wealth to his foundation, Atlantic Philanthropies, according to Forbes.

Before giving away their inheritance, he also went to great lengths to teach his children the value of saving money, including making his kids chat with their friends on payphones, work during their vacations, and work through college, according to The Daily Mail.

Today, it's rumored Feeney doesn't even own a house or a car. He once famously told The New York Times, "I want the last check I write to bounce."

10. British Chef Nigella Lawson

AP Photo/Lionel Cironneau

Lawson is a best-selling author and TV personality, which made her a millionaire even before she married (and then later divorced) wealthy advertising tycoon and art collector Charles Saatchi.

Though Lawson herself comes from a wealthy background, she seems to be a firm believer in not giving her two children that same advantage. She came under fire for saying, "I am determined that my children should have no financial security. It ruins people not having to earn money."

She followed up that statement by saying she didn't plan on leaving her kids "destitute," but stood by the idea that they would have to support themselves after school ended.

11. Media mogul Ted Turner

Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

Turner is such a prominent philanthropist that he is as famous for giving away money as he is for making it.

After accumulating his wealth through the founding of media outlets like CNN and TBS, Turner has gone on to give literally billions of dollars to causes like the United Nations Foundation. 

Turner has five children from three marriages, but they shouldn't expect a large endowment once he passes. Whether jokingly or not, Turner was quoted in 2010 as saying he was "almost to the edge of poverty" and just wants enough money to cover funeral expenses when he dies.

12. Hedge fund manager John Arnold

AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite

John Arnold may only be 40 years old, but last October he closed his hedge fund, Centaurus Energy, and retired after amassing an estimated wealth of $4 billion over the last 10 years.

Now, Arnold and his wife Laura have dedicated the rest of their lives to giving away that wealth through their foundation to support innovative ideas, instead of to their three children.

"Because of our backgrounds and because of our own experiences, we just don't believe in dynastic wealth," said Laura Arnold in an interview posted on givesmart.org.

13. British composer Andrew Lloyd Webber

Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images

Having racked up hundreds of millions of dollars and becoming a knight thanks to his work as a theater composer, Webber wants to use that money to encourage teaching the arts.

Webber once said that "(A will) is one thing you do start to think about when you get to my age. I don't think it should be about having a whole load of rich children and grandchildren. I think it should be used as a way to encourage the arts."

His five children will be "taken care of," but the majority of the estate will go towards arts programs. 

14. Director and producer George Lucas

AP Photo/Lucasfilm Ltd. & TM, Lisa Tomasetti

Lucas signed on to Bill Gates and Warren Buffett's Giving Pledge back in July of 2010, promising to give at least half of his wealth away by the time of his death.

“I am dedicating the majority of my wealth to improving education,” Lucas wrote in hispledge letter.

The father of four also said in a statement that he would donate the $4 billion+ Disney paid him to acquire Lucas Films to charity as well.

15. Texas oil and gas magnate T. Boone Pickens

Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Pickens spent his whole life — from delivering newspapers to taking over Gulf Oil — making money via acquisition. The corporate raider now has a net worth of $1.4 billion because of it. 

So it's no surprise that Pickens isn't in favor of handing his money over for free, even to his children. Pickens is one of America's billionaires to take The Giving Pledge, donating at least half of his money to charity.

And when asked about leaving money for his kids, he had this to say: "I've long stated that I enjoy making money, and I enjoy giving it away...I'm not a big fan of inherited wealth. It generally does more harm than good."